WHAT IS NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION?
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a life-changing way of interacting. It is a process developed by author and international peacemaker Dr. Marshall Rosenberg (1934-2015) designed to help human beings increase their capacity to relate compassionately even under trying circumstances.
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Chapter 1 of the book:
By consciously choosing our responses based on meeting needs instead of on expressing habitual responses that alienate others, it is possible to resolve differences peacefully. NVC avoids making people defend themselves from value-laden judgments, it employs clear requests in place of demands, and it allows everyone to have their needs acknowledged and valued without coercion, fear of retribution, or loss of self-esteem. Read Chapter One of Nonviolent Communication.
In this 10min. clip, Dr Rosenberg talks about Teilhard de Chardin's theories of human evolution which sought to return to a more natural way - one where no-one advances at the expense of another.
Recommended article:
The Traveling Peacemaker: A Conversation with Dr. Marshall Rosenberg (Article)
Excerpt: If my life partner is not meeting my needs for intimacy and I say, “You are insensitive to my needs,” insensitive to my needs is an enemy image. When we say that some people are “terrorists,” that’s an enemy image. Enemy images turn people into things. When we see the other person as a monster, all we want to do is to punish them. This type of language disconnects us from what’s alive in one another, disconnects us from life.
3 hour intro to NVC with Marshall Rosenberg
Important consideration: Even when presentations clearly outline the OFNR steps, there is no guarantee that the essence of NVC will be properly understood by audiences. An underlying tenet of NVC is that it is human nature to contribute to life .. that it is human nature to collaborate with others with the overall aim of enriching life for other fellow humans and for life itself much more than it is our nature to do harm to each other and to the planet.
And yet we do considerable harm to each other and to the planet in spite of this. It was Marshall Rosenberg’s theory that our reasons for doing harm is a tragic result of how most people in the dominant culture have been educated to diagnose, label, make demands, deny personal and collective responsibility, and motivate on the basis of punishment and reward .. all of which greatly increase the likelihood of violence, alienation and disconnection.
To concentrate solely on the OFNR components of NVC often leads to an understanding that NVC is essentially a 4 step formula to help people effectively resolve conflict. While the ability to navigate conflict more effectively is often one of the benefits of NVC, there is a great deal more to NVC. More fully understood, NVC represents a complete overhaul of our thinking and assumptions about what it means to be human.
Rachelle Lamb was certified by the Center for Nonviolent Communication in 2002. She has helped thousands over the years to cultivate greater awareness and mastery in their communication. Workshop participants consistently remark on the profound life-changing impact of what they learn in her sessions. (Read Rachelle's tribute to Marshall Rosenberg)