Modern Society's Obsession With The GREAT Life

December 14, 2010 - Topics:

Don’t get me wrong. I value the great life as much as the next person but this morning when I opened my laptop I was struck by the overwhelming number of emails in my inbox that have something to teach me about becoming happy and successful. I appreciate both the effort and wisdom that shines through but as I read over one in particular that included over 50 tips, I felt a sudden sadness and weariness come over me. I would have to sign up for boot camp to do all these things and not only that … I have no trust that being so

on top of it all would assure me the greatly prized happiness and success that is alluded to. In fact I’m thinking it may be more accurate to call it 50 tips to the illusion of a great life (and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that!) After all in the world of illusions, which life is reported to be within the context quantum theory mechanics and some spiritual approaches, a good illusion is much preferable over a bad one so let's not be too hasty in discarding the tips and the value they might bring. What truly constitutes a great life gave me pause for reflection though and in my state of sadness, weariness and eventual wonder I thought of what the list of 50 tips for a great life might actually look like:

  1. Just stop. Just stop where you are and breathe.
  2. Remember that the most important thing is how you tend to others.
  3. Remember that the most important thing is how you tend to yourself.
  4. Remember that the most important thing is how you tend to the living planet.
  5. Remember, don’t forget.
  6. Just stop. Just stop where you are and breathe.
  7. Remember that the most important thing is how you tend to others.
  8. Remember that the most important thing is how you tend to yourself.
  9. Remember that the most important thing is how you tend to the living planet.
  10. Remember, don’t forget.
  11. Just stop. Just stop where you are and breathe.
  12. Remember that the most important thing is how you tend to others.
  13. Remember that the most important thing is how you tend to yourself.
  14. Remember that the most important thing is how you tend to the living planet.
  15. Remember, don’t forget.

I think you get the idea. Just keep going until you reach 50. The most important thing is not to forget the most important thing.

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  • Anonymous on Mon, 2011-01-10 09:17

    Last year I discovered, that balance wasn't in my list of needs. Now I've put it in the middle. The balance between my own needs. The balance between the needs of others. The balance between the needs of all living beings (including humans) and our living planet.

    To find this balance (and the happiness that comes with it) the way would be to stop, breathe and listen, to all the needs that want our attention. Listen to the solutions that will bring us to this balance. Listen to the strategy, that is already there and will come to us fluently and easily, when we stop, breathe and listen.

    And to make it even more interesting: the balance is constantly moving, as is living planet and all the humans on it. So ... every now and then, we need to stop, breathe and listen again, to find the new balance.

    Do you like the words I added to your 50 steps, Rachel?

  • Anonymous on Wed, 2011-01-05 13:24

    Thank you for this beautiful post! I have shared it, and others have also reaped the joy of this simple yet powerful mantra. So simple, yet so profound...

  • Anonymous on Fri, 2010-12-17 23:04

    That's quite a mantra, Rachelle, and who can gainsay it?

    From my position at the Top of the Hill (in Touch Hill condominium, Chiang Mai, Thailand), and not quite OVER the hill, let me observe that no, repeat, NO self-help books will ever guide you to anything remotely close to happiness. In fact, there is no such thing as happiness, but rather "contentment". To be "content" is to be happy with one's lot, but NOT to be content with one's lot is not a sign of unhappiness. You can say, fk this, I want something better, which makes you DIScontented, but not unhappy.

    Happiness is what Wordsworth was getting at when he referred to "emotions recollected in tranquillity"... that is, happiness is a REMEMBERED experience, in the past. Which is why we tend to wear rose-tinted spectacles about the past. Perhaps that past happiness is an illusion, but if it gives us comfort now, wtf?

    Basically, happiness is attainable only through:

    1. giving of yourself in a structured way to others (eg, volunteering your time to people or an organization that truly values your contribution) (there is a power motif involved here too...we get some power or empowerment through others' gratitude to us. )
    This is close to the Christian "it is more blessed to give than to receive".

    2. absorbing yourself in some task, whether writing, painting, carving, whatever...something that totally absorbs your whole being while you do it, so that you have a kind of catharsis at the end of your day or period of absorption

    3. having a few drinks and a couple of laughs with friends.

    4. being hopelessly in love. The state of being "in love" is the only one where, temporarily, we yield up our whole selves in THAT MOMENT and we can attain intense happiness.
    Alas, this state does not last too long, but research needs to be done in the specific area of "How does one prolong for ever the intensity of feeling produced by being "in love".
    This latter area is where you need a practical self-help how-to pamphlet (don't need a whole goddam book).

    Note that none of the above entrances into the state of "happiness' can be bought, at least not directly.

  • Anonymous on Mon, 2010-12-20 14:11

    Love your comment ... it could be the basis for a book in fact ... though hopefully NOT classified as self-help ;) ~ Rachelle